Sunday, 9:15 a.m. April 21, 2013
This is the second week in a row that church was not going to be on the agenda for today. This is not like me but for one reason or another there are plenty of excuses for me to stay home. In reality I'm angry at God.
Having one child was enough for us 9 years ago but something changed in my heart this year. Maybe the realization of turning 35 this year was starting to sink in or maybe the fact that my daughter would be leaving us in about 10 years was starting to overwhelm me. Whatever it was, this year we decided a second child would make our family complete.
At the end of February we found out that I was pregnant. Of course you may notice how the past tense phrase was used.
At 6 weeks into the pregnancy I miscarried.
Since finding out that day about the miscarriage guilt and sadness have been a constant friend.
Friday, 8:35 a.m. June 28, 2013
Last week I asked the question "is there a God?" This is my answer to that question.
I know there is a God.
It is not something that can be explain to a non-believer. It is something that can be accepted when you realized how fragile life truly is. Sure, a logical person (this is what some of my non believing friends call themselves) would think that they understand that life if fragile. What they fail to understand is the bigger picture about life and death. Death is not the end game. Death is just the beginning of the next stage.
Am I still angry at God for the miscarriage? No, but there are moments when sadness takes over and I question the reason why it happened. At those moments I remember this bible verse.
1 Corinthians 15:55-57 "O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ